18th February 1920

Dear Alphonse,

      It is with great pleasure that I reply to your delightful letter. It was very much appreciated. Your concern over my pantry marauders was extremely touching. I have taken your advice and now travel at all times with a Derringer firmly attached to my suspender belt. It has become positively indispensable. Only the other day I fired over the head of a man who was reluctant to feed the ducks in the park. He immediately threw them his lunch and left in great haste. I felt much happier after this, as did the ducks.

      If I had known that these wonderful guns existed before I would have bought one years ago. I am going to see my gunsmith tomorrow to pick up a new gun he has ordered in for me. It is called an Armalite and he says I will be very pleased with it, and will probably get a lot of use out of it. One feels very pleased to know that one is making society a safer place for genteel people.

      Thank you again for your excellent advice. I will keep you informed as to how I fare with this new weapon.

 

                                    With kind regards, your dear friend,

                                                                        The Duchess of Drumborg.

 

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